Stop thinking there is enough time left! I have searched from the time I was around 13-15 years of age, wondering if I was going to be one of the lucky ones who grew up and became happy and fulfilled, with a career that had value, a family of my own, eg wife who loved me, a couple of kids.....Life - I never felt my destiny was in any part of my control, but I perceived others as designing just the kind of life they wanted. My thoughts were filled with wishes and hopes. I never thought of those as being the very blocks and barricades that eventually would seem to frustrate me and cause me to look at myself as a virtual failure with a life thus far full of evidence as to why "I can't". Wishes and hopes, traced backwards to a set of forming beliefs as to my inadequacy, my logic convincing me that I will never be like one of "those guys" in Jr High and High School who seemed to have it all - the seeds of greatness. Depression was the result of the growth of weed...