I am 66 years old and have seen, heard, lived enough life to realize that if people would STOP looking for ways to be normal and cease preaching about what THEY think normal is or should be, they would be able to enjoy an optimal life, a bit stress-free, less hassle with people, less judgmental of other people and themselves, with more love, unconditional acceptance. I have learned that conflict arises because they all refer to their own book of "spostas", (supposed to's) and their emotions go nutzoid when there is a "violation"...….thing is, everyone's book of SPOSTAS is different. There are no 2 books alike and we haven't read everyone's else's book of SPOSTA's. Why would be? Our own book is the SPOSTA bible, right? LOL
Can anyone reading this tell us what SPOSTA's you have, that when "violated" gets you bent outta shape?
It is okay to say "I don't know"
ReplyDeleteIt really IS ok to grieve YOUR way. A person I know did not cry, did not talk much immediately following the death of her husband and his funeral. Others criticized her and gossiped amongst themselves spreading rumors that she "obviously did not love her husband" --- sighhhh.....the woman, I will caller "Pat".....committed suicide 4 weeks after the death of her husband. She left a note writing about how deeply she loved her husband, praising him and how perfect of a husband he was.....then wrote how she didn't think she could carry on without him, wanting to continue to be by his side.....so she took an overdose of her benzodiazepine medications........lying in her bed, holding a pillow, with the note on the top of it.........Hey, if you are reading this -- people grieve in many different ways........some people go to great lengths to hide from their grief for fear that if they start they won't be able to stop.........also the amount of grieving you see is not a measure of how much one loved somebody or not........please, no matter what you observe, whether they seem all right or not, give them a hug, and a smile. There are no perfect words to say. And don't say "If you ever need me......." unless you are prepared to follow through.......even if a person says "oh I am ok, or I will be ok" take the time to make contact with the person -- by phone or in person for even a brief visit.......avoid being judgmental......Pat felt abandoned by her husband, and her friends...she felt painfully alone during a time she never thought would happen....this soon.....She was married 20 years. Her husband was only 40......it isn't something that only happens when we're older........
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